The Boofhead Sandwich

The problem with saving boofheads is, they survive to lift another day. The fool in the singlet you save today, may well wind up the fool in a company-coloured shirt tomorrow. Lifters can become so enchanted with their gym, that they want to work and train at the same place. This, my friends, is where the body count begins.

Personal trainers fear for our boofheads (as well as for ourselves). From client to colleague within the same gym? It’s a difficult shift. The only thing these two roles have in common is, company politics in a gym are just as rubber-coated as dumbbells. That is, the really heavy stuff dropped by some idiot fast becomes your problem when it hits the floor.

The Land Above is usually invisible to a gym client. With role reversal, though, long-term personal trainers soon find themselves the meat in the ‘boofhead  sandwich’.You see, the thing with boofheads is : they’re vulnerable to intense bursts of ‘corporate enthusiasm’. Once they discover The Land Above, they’re keen to charge through to minor management. Crying the company creed aloud on Facebook, like they’ve been born again.

Shattering that gym floor ceiling tends to be an unfortunate use for an innocent head (even if it’s sitting on well-developed ‘traps’). It’s admirable to want to want to work exactly the same way you train. (Well, mostly – unlike weights, if you pick up a desk for the sake of dropping it loudly, people do get upset.). But consider: a passion for inspirational corporate slogans and ‘PB’s’ (personal best lifts) does not necessarily translate to an interest in managing other people. (Glory and membership sales, however, are much more closely related).

Personal trainers cheer for healthy transformation. Watching honest, hard-lifting boofheads become wankers, (and finding ourselves suffering under them) is irritating, yes…but mostly sad. Hours of unpaid work, promised promotions ( ‘prove yourself in sales and we could co-own a gym!’)…Experienced trainers don’t really like to see the flaming enthusiasms of our  boofheads burn out. Least of all, in the service of  franchised fitness religion. (We may run a betting ring on just how long burnout will take, but it’s not personal. We’ve seen it happen so often, it gets boring otherwise.).

Please, folks… remember that you’re already doing what matters, by training. Gyms have an appetite for ‘fresh meat’. Don’t let ’em build a Disneyland on your disillusionment.

 All hail the humble gym floor boofhead. My people, trust the steel  – not the lure of corporate ideals.


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